


Lost With You

by yikeslikenikes



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Awkward Crush, Camping, Confessions, Cute, Feelings, Fluff, Happy Ending, Jooheon Bingo, Kissing, Lee Jooheon-centric, Lost in the Woods, M/M, i guess?, mentions of drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 21:49:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18646765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikeslikenikes/pseuds/yikeslikenikes
Summary: Whenever Hoseok looked at Jooheon, he felt seen. Like Hoseok was actually looking at him, actually saw him, and he always smiled like he loved what he saw there, and how could he not kinda sorta fall in love with someone like that?





	Lost With You

**Author's Note:**

> This is for my "Lost in the Woods" square for Jooheon Bingo!

People graduate from college, but it’s not every day that the baby of the friend group does, so, of course, they had made it into a certified Big Deal. All Changkyun had wanted was a weekend camping trip that turned into a week-long stay in a cabin to get drunk and pretend the real world wasn’t just down the mountain.

Of course, they all said yes.

Of course, Jooheon was definitely going to find a way to be there even though he got off work later than everyone else and also didn’t have a car.

Of course, Jooheon had been hoping that Hyunwoo or Hyungwon would wait up and give him a ride.

And of course, life didn’t happen that way.

Hoseok, kind Hoseok, sweet Hoseok, gorgeous Hoseok, was the one to offer up a ride to Jooheon, seeing as how they lived in the same part of town, and _it’s been a while since we got to hang out, just the two of us!_

Jooheon almost wondered if Changkyun had set it up, seeing as how he was the only one that Jooheon had ever admitted his dirty little secret to. He had been far too drunk at a house party, and Hoseok had been far too drunk to keep his shirt on at said house party, and Jooheon had grabbed Changkyun, and whispered it all out in a single tequila-scented breath:

_God, he’s so fucking hot._

And Changkyun, in his infinite silent wisdom had whispered back in an equally potent vodka-scented breath:

_You’re like in love with him, aren’t you?_

And Jooheon had balked, then frowned, then pouted, before miserably admitting that yeah, he kinda was. Changkyun had just nodded knowingly and patted at his head before finding them more shots to take.

It wasn’t Jooheon’s fault. How could it be? He honestly couldn’t believe that nobody else was secretly in love with him too. Hoseok was the guy who texted the group chat good morning every single morning and kept track of who had texted that day and who hadn’t because he worried. He was the one that would drop them off a pint of their favorite Ben and Jerry’s just because they had said they were studying and miserable. He was the huge almost body-builder guy that would never once say anything negative about anybody’s body, and if they were self-conscious, he was the first one to tell them that they looked great, looked handsome, looked perfect.

Whenever Hoseok looked at Jooheon, he felt seen. Like Hoseok was actually looking at him, actually saw him, and he always smiled like he loved what he saw there, and how could he not kinda sorta fall in love with someone like that?

“You got everything?” Hoseok asked, hand hovering on top of his open trunk. Jooheon scanned the surprisingly cramped space of the SUV’s trunk before he nodded, and Hoseok slammed it shut, cringing a little at the force he used and patting at the handle like an apology.

Jooheon tried to ignore that as he got into the passenger seat and dropped his backpack between his legs. “How far away is this place?” he asked as Hoseok finally shut his car door and sank into his seat with a little sigh.

“According to the GPS, not very far. Should only take us an hour or so to drive up there.”

“Is it a long hike to the campground?”

Hoseok cringed a bit. “Honestly, I don’t know. I was never really good with maps, but I don’t think Changkyun would want a long hike.”

“You’re right. I can’t even believe he got up early to go to the campsite.”

“More like, I can’t believe Kihyun got him out of bed that early,” Hoseok said as he looked around for the fifth time before finally pulling out into the street in front of Jooheon’s apartment.

Jooheon laughed. “Right.”

“You wanna play your music? The aux cord should be around there somewhere,” Hoseok said as he waved vaguely toward the center console because he refused to take his eyes off the road. Jooheon found the cord stuffed into one of the cup holders and plugged it in before just hitting shuffle. It’s not like he knew what kind of mood he was in anyway, and Hoseok liked to talk through his drive.

The sun was setting as they drove down an empty backwoods highway, and Jooheon kept his eyes focused on the sky in the space right in front of the sun, pretended that they were racing against it toward their destination. He hadn’t been very good conversation, but Hoseok didn’t seem to mind, just happily chatting about work and being happy for Changkyun, and Jooheon wished he could be better conversation without his mind turning to awkward mush.

Around all of them, Jooheon could ignore it. If Hoseok was the stars, everyone else was the full moon, so bright it made the stars fade a bit. It couldn’t erase it, and they were still there, but faded enough that they weren’t as jaw-dropping. And there was a reason why Jooheon hadn’t hung out with Hoseok alone in a while, and it had nothing to do with conflicting work schedules and the usual lines about being _busy busy busy_ , but Jooheon was obviously never going to say that because it would never work out. Jooheon had played it out in his head, and it just never added up well enough or nicely enough for him to give it a shot.

First was that while Hoseok made him feel special, that was Hoseok’s whole thing. He made everyone feel special because he genuinely thought all of them were. He never acted any differently toward Jooheon than he did toward Hyunwoo or Changkyun or Kihyun, so it was just friendship to him.

Second was that while Jooheon was ninety-five percent sure that this was not just a tiny little crush (it had lasted too long to still be in that territory), there was still that itty bitty chance that this was just one of those crushes that would turn into gravel or ash or plain dust as soon as he got any indication that the feeling might be mutual. That five percent was far too much of a chance for Jooheon.

Third, and he would never say this to anyone because he knows what they’ll say already, was that Hoseok was out of his league. He was the stunning action hero, and Jooheon thought of himself as the goofy side-kick. No amount of Hoseok telling him that he was adorable or handsome or that he had a nice body would every get that thorny little thought out of his head.

It was fully twilight when they parked off the gravel road that led into the national park, sun nowhere to be seen, but light peeking up past the horizon. Hoseok had parked next to Hyungwon’s grey sedan and was glad that they were at least in the correct general starting place as they took their tent, sleeping bags, flashlights, and Hoseok’s beginner’s camping kit out of the trunk.

“I think we’re supposed to follow the blue trail up until we get to the third campsite,” Hoseok said as he closed his trunk again, this time a bit more delicately.

“Cool. We should get going before it gets too dark,” Jooheon said.

“I hope when we get there, no one is too wasted. You know, it’s technically illegal to drink in National Parks,” Hoseok said softly, eyes looking around as if someone would hear them and call the cops on them. Jooheon couldn’t help but think about how endearing that was.

“So I’ve heard. Come on, let’s go.” Jooheon slung bags over his shoulders before he started walking up the trail with all the blue signs next to it, listening to Hoseok hum a bit to himself as he walked behind him.

Jooheon had never liked the dark. He especially didn’t like the dark in scary unfamiliar places. And as night started to loom over the forest, he couldn’t help but feel anxious, jumping a bit at every sound that came from around them.

The night was like a cloak laid down on the tops of the trees when it came. It was like Jooheon could see fine on second, and then he couldn’t see at all the next. He froze, and Hoseok cursed behind him as he flicked on his phone’s flashlight.

“Um, Hoseok?” Jooheon said.

“Yeah?”

“Why haven’t we seen them yet? We’ve been walking for like fifteen minutes. I’m pretty sure we walked like at least half a mile, but I haven’t seen anyone.”

Hoseok came up next to him and handed him one of the flashlights. Jooheon grabbed onto it, holding it tight as he flashed it around the trees. It was dark and quiet, and he couldn’t see a campsite anywhere near them.

“Maybe we have to go further. Sometimes the campsites are like a mile in,” Hoseok replied. Jooheon looked over at him and saw that he was smiling at him, trying to be encouraging, but he knew that Hoseok was probably scared, too.

“Right. We’ll just keep walking then?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

They set off again, this time side-by-side. Jooheon would probably be thinking about how they kept bumping into each other if he wasn’t so busy frantically looking around for any sign of Changkyun’s graduation party. When another fifteen minutes had passed, and they were still alone on the trail, Jooheon wanted to scream.

“Where the fuck is everyone?” Jooheon said.

“Shit, I don’t know,” Hoseok replied. He shined his flashlight around like it would magically reveal to them the correct way to go.

“Are we…lost?”

Hoseok frowned. “Maybe a little. But we’re on the trail, right? We didn’t get off it somehow?”

“I don’t think so.”

An owl hooted above them, and Jooheon let out a yell, ducking down a bit. His yell made Hoseok yell, clutching at his chest.

“Fuck, Jooheon! Scared the shit out of me,” Hoseok said as he bent forward a bit, sighing out hard. Jooheon pouted because his hands were shaking a bit, and he was slightly terrified, but he felt bad for startling Hoseok.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

Hoseok sighed again before he stood up straight again. “It’s fine. I’m sorry I yelled at you. So, look. I don’t want to keep walking and potentially get us more lost. There’s a little campsite over there, do you want to just set up the tent and call it a night? We can try again in the morning when the sun is out.”

Jooheon nodded and followed after Hoseok as he walked over to the little elevated square space outlined with wood that was supposed to be enough for a campsite. Jooheon dropped his bags onto the ground.

“Just hold the flashlights while I set up the tent?” Hoseok asked.

“Can do,” Jooheon said. It didn’t set in all the way just yet as he watched Hoseok start to easily set up the tent, hammer in the spikes, and pull out the sleeping bags. It tickled at the back of Jooheon’s head when he saw Hoseok roll both the sleeping bags out in the tent. But it really smacked him across the face when Hoseok smiled up at him and patted the spot next to him.

One tent.

With Hoseok.

By themselves.

Fuck.

“All done. I’m sorry I’m like a huge coward, so I just want to get into the tent already,” Hoseok said.

Jooheon swallowed as he got into the tent next to Hoseok and kicked his shoes off outside. “I mean, same,” he mumbled.

Hoseok hummed and put the flashlights in the middle of the tent before zipping it closed. Jooheon looked around, and he was brought back to sleepovers and hiding under covers and whispering secrets that really weren’t that big of a deal at the time, like _sometimes I stay up late and watch the late-night show from the top of the stairs when my parents think I’m asleep_. Whispering because they were definitely supposed to be asleep. To that magical feeling where you felt like you could be yourself and not have to filter anything because once you fell asleep it would almost be erased.

Hoseok was already laying down on his sleeping bag, hands behind head as he stared up at the ventilation flaps on the top of the tent. Jooheon’s eyes traced over the way his biceps were flexed slightly, his chest rising and falling gently, his tiny waist in the t-shirt he was wearing, and he really wished that he wasn’t so attracted to his best friend, but he is. He really is.

“I can’t believe I got us lost on the way to Changkyun’s party,” Hoseok said, tiny little laugh caught between his words. Jooheon finally let himself lay down on his own sleeping bag, staring up at the top of the tent where it was see-through.

“We both got lost. It wasn’t your fault,” Jooheon said because he can’t let Hoseok even begin to feel guilty for even a second.

“I know, but still. At least there’s nothing crazy in these woods, you know?”

“Except owls, apparently.”

Hoseok laughed, and it made everything squeeze inside of Jooheon. He loved Hoseok’s laugh. Every single one. From the small happy giggles to the big guffaws and everything in between. It made Jooheon smile and feel like he was on top of the world if he was the cause of it.

“At least we aren’t alone, right? I’d be freaking the hell out if you weren’t here with me right now,” Hoseok said.

Jooheon nodded. “Agreed.”

It’s quiet for a little bit, and through the noises of the night, the trees and wind and small creatures running around, Jooheon is only really listening to Hoseok. The way he shifts around to get comfortable. How he sighed softly.

“Can I turn off the flashlight? I don’t want to burn out the batteries,” Hoseok asked.

“Oh, yeah. Go ahead.”

A click, and it was so dark, but Jooheon could make out the stars through the little ventilation flaps because the night was clear, and there weren’t many branches above them.

Hoseok let out a little whistle. “Look at that. It’s beautiful.”

“It is.”

“We probably wouldn’t have seen that if we had made it to the camp.”

Jooheon laughed a little. “You’re probably right. We’d be up and around a fire and have no reason to look up.”

“Exactly.”

Jooheon lets himself look then. Lets his head fall to the side to look at Hoseok, and he can barely make out his silhouette in the darkness, but there it is in stunning profile, a cameo against the tent. And they’re so close to each other, barely an inch between their bodies. Jooheon is torn between wishing there was more room between them and wishing there was no room between them at all.

“Jooheon?”

Jooheon blinked and turned to look up at the sky again. “Yeah?”

“Why are you being so weird around me lately?” Hoseok asked softly.

Jooheon’s breath came out in a little hiss between his teeth. There’s a whole string of cuss words flying around Jooheon’s brain but none of them can even begin to make any sense, and now Hoseok was turning onto his side to look at him, and _fuck, when did it get so hot in this goddamn tent, are those ventilation flaps even worth anything?_

“What?” Jooheon squeaked out after his brain told him it had been far too long since Hoseok asked.

Hoseok sighed a little. “We used to go get coffee together and stuff and then that just stopped. On the way here you barely talked. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just overthinking things, but is something up?”

It was definitely way too hot in the tent. Jooheon sat up and reached forward blindly until his fingers connected with the zipper of the tent. He pulled it open and moved forward until his face was out in the open, and he practically gulped down cool air.

“Hey, are you okay? I’m sorry,” Hoseok said behind him, and Jooheon felt his hand land on his back and rub and down, and Hoseok was so perfect, so very perfect and kind and precious to a fault because he obviously felt bad for even bringing up his feelings when it was all Jooheon’s fault.

“Hoseok.” It was the only thing that he could say.

“Look, I didn’t mean to make things weird if they weren’t or make you anxious-“

“You’re so nice,” Jooheon whined.

Hoseok’s hand stopped rubbing up and down Jooheon’s back. “You’re nice, too,” he said softly.

Jooheon groaned and leaned back. He closed the tent again and turned around to face the dark mass that he knew was Hoseok. It was so quiet, and Jooheon didn’t know how to make this all go away because it wasn’t like he could move tents or go looking, and they were lost in the woods, and Hoseok meant too much to Jooheon for it to be weird, meant so much more than this stupid crush he had, his stupid feelings, his stupid stupid useless love.

“I’m sorry. It was just. Hot,” Jooheon said.

“Oh. Yeah, it kinda is.”

“And things aren’t weird. We’re still best buds. I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately with work and stuff,” Jooheon said. It wasn’t a full lie, but it felt like it. Heavy on the tip of his tongue because Jooheon hated lying even if it wasn’t a whole one. Jooheon couldn’t see it, but he knew that Hoseok was smiling, and that made him feel worse.

“Good! I’m glad. Best buds,” Hoseok said, and Jooheon could hear how disappointed he sounded at the end. Jooheon frowned as he laid back down onto his sleeping bag. Hoseok sighed a bit as he laid down next to him.

At least the stars were still shining, and the world was still turning, and everything could be normal. And Hoseok will probably text the group chat tomorrow morning and say good morning and apologize for them getting lost. They’ll go to the cabin and sleep in different rooms and never be alone together, and Jooheon hoped that Hoseok would just forget about whatever this was and—

“Jooheon?”

“Yeah?” Jooheon said.

“Look.”

Jooheon blinked, his face scrunching up. He didn’t know what he was supposed to look at. He was already staring up at the stars. He turned toward Hoseok, wondering what he was talking about.

Hoseok was right there. Close and warm and Jooheon almost jumped out of his skin, but he didn’t. “What’s up?” Jooheon asked.

“I just. I don’t know,” Hoseok said softly.

“Okay?”

“Do you still…”

“Still what?”

It was silent again for a little while, and Jooheon was about to ask again, was opening his mouth to say it when he felt Hoseok’s hand land on his shoulder. The wind got knocked out of him in that moment. He lost all his words as Hoseok’s hand picked up a bit, hovering as it followed the lines of Jooheon’s body up. His fingertips touched lightly, collarbone, side of neck, cheek, and then his hand was hovering again over his face.

Memories came flooding back. All of them as quickly as possible racing through. Hoseok had touched him plenty of times before. Hugged him. Grabbed his face. Squished his cheeks. None of it had ever felt like this had.

Hoseok’s breath came out a bit shaky. His fingers were still against his cheek, and then they traced down, so light that if Jooheon breathed too hard the touch would be gone, so Jooheon didn’t breathe. Was terrified to. He just stared into the darkness, his eyes only adjusting enough to make out the edges around Hoseok as Hoseok’s fingers moved down his jaw, up his chin, and then settled like a butterfly on a flower on his lips.

Jooheon closed his eyes because he had seen this scene in the movie, and no matter how it went, he didn’t want to be staring into the dark. And then it was there. Hoseok fingers slid down a bit, and then they were replaced with his lips. Still barely there. Still gentle.

All the times that Hoseok had told him he was handsome, or pretty, or wonderful. All the times he tried so hard to hang out, and Jooheon shut him down because of his own feelings. All the times that they had made eye-contact and smiled and looked away awkwardly because Jooheon always got shy.

It wasn’t just Hoseok being Hoseok after all.

Jooheon didn’t move, afraid that it would somehow ruin it. Hoseok lingered there against him before he pulled away, breath shaky again as it came out against Jooheon’s lips.

“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have,” Hoseok whispered.

Jooheon shook his head before tilting forward and kissing him again, and Hoseok moaned a bit, surprised, and Jooheon felt like he was dreaming, but it was fine.

They had no idea where they were, but this little spot of earth in the forest was sacred now to Jooheon. Holy. Magical in a way he couldn’t quite explain other than, _Hoseok kissed me here, and only a miracle could have made that happen_.

When Hoseok pulled away again, Jooheon stared up at the stars. It was quiet again, and he didn’t know what to say. Everything was overwhelming and full.

“You…you like me?” Hoseok asked softly.

Jooheon licked his lips, the memory of Hoseok’s still there flashing through him. “Yeah. I do.”

“I thought…you were avoiding me.”

“I was. Because I…”                          

“Liked me,” Hoseok finished, and Jooheon could hear the smile in his voice.

“You like me?” Jooheon asked back. His chest was tight. Felt like he might die. Like the whole universe was standing on his ribcage.

“A lot. So much,” Hoseok said. Jooheon sat up and started feeling around. Hoseok sat up, too. “What?”

Jooheon stopped when he felt the flashlight. He turned it on and held it up, filling the tent with light. And Hoseok was looking at him, concern pinching at his features.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Say it again. With the lights on, so I know it’s real,” Jooheon whispered.

Hoseok blinked a few times before he grabbed onto Jooheon’s face and pulled him closer. “I really fucking like you, Jooheon. For a while now.”

Jooheon’s breath left him and then he rushed forward, trying to aim for Hoseok’s lips again but knocking their noses together instead. Both of them groaned and pulled away, rubbing at the bridges of their noses.

_God, I’m so dumb_.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Jooheon grumbled.

Hoseok laughed a bit, and Jooheon looked at him. He looked so happy even as he sniffed and pinched at the tip of his nose. “It’s okay. You’re fine.” Jooheon was pouting as he finally dropped his hand. Hoseok laughed again and leaned forward. He kissed Jooheon’s nose. “There. All better, right?”

Jooheon sputtered out a laugh, and then Hoseok was laughing again, covering his mouth.

“God, that was so cringy, I’m so sorry,” Hoseok said.

Jooheon shook his head. “I liked it. It’s fine.”

And then Hoseok was beaming at him, and he was all the stars in the sky. Jooheon reached his hand out, and Hoseok took it easily, intertwining their fingers together and squeezing tight.

“Maybe we should turn this off, now,” Hoseok said, pointing at the flashlight. Jooheon nodded as he reached his freehand over and flicked the switch.

Things are easier in the dark. It’s easy to let Hoseok’s hand run up his body to his face, feeling for it, touch his lips because he doesn’t want to miss. Jooheon closed his eyes again, and Hoseok kissed him, and it wasn’t soft and barely there anymore. It wasn’t tentative. It was steady and sure as Hoseok tugged him closer, hands still squeezing together.

They stopped kissing only long enough to lay back down, legs tangling up, so they could be close enough to still kiss.

Easy.

It was so easy to fall like this. Because Hoseok was warm and sweet and wonderful. And he was kissing him. Actually kissing him. Like Jooheon always wished they would.

They fell asleep holding hands, curled towards each other.

 

Jooheon woke up but didn’t open his eyes. He wondered if last night had been a dream before he realized that his hand was laying on something soft and warm. He opened one eye, and there Hoseok was, still asleep, adorable and relaxed as sunlight streamed in onto his face.

And yeah, Jooheon was definitely kinda sorta in love with him.

He rolled onto his back and stretched out like a cat, groaning a bit. He tugged his phone out of his pocket to see that it was 6:45 in the morning, and he didn’t have signal. They were still lost, but Jooheon didn’t really think he cared much anymore.

“Morning,” Hoseok groaned out, his voice crackly and deep from sleep. Jooheon turned to see him rubbing at his eyes and pouting, and Jooheon had to physically stop himself from fawning over him.

“Good morning,” Jooheon said.

Hoseok blinked up at him before he smiled again and just laughed a little. He sat up and opened the tent. “We have some granola bars we could eat for breakfast?”

“Sounds great.”

“Great.” Hoseok crawled out of the tent and pulled his shoes on before rolling up his sleeping bag. Jooheon followed his lead, and they kept glancing at each other and giggling. It might have been embarrassing if they had been with their friends, but here they were by themselves, so they had less shame.

Jooheon chewed on his granola bar as Hoseok repacked all their things. “I wonder where we went wrong last night,” he said.

“I know. Blue trail, third campsite. I don’t understand how we got lost,” Hoseok replied.

Jooheon nodded as he opened up the group chat. He scrolled up a bit to see the texts where Changkyun had told them the information. He stopped and bit his lip as he read the messages. “Um, Hoseok?”

“What?”

“This says black trail, third campsite. The cabin was on Blue Ridge Lane.”

Hoseok sighed as he flopped down onto the ground. “I got us lost for no reason, I’m so stupid.”

“Hey, don’t say that. You’re not stupid,” Jooheon said as he tugged on Hoseok’s shirt to get him back up.

“God, they’re probably so worried about us, too, ugh,” Hoseok said through a pout.

“Yeah, but if we hadn’t gotten lost, we never would have kissed,” Jooheon said, tugging one last time on Hoseok’s shirt. Hoseok smiled and pushed himself back up. He leaned closer to Jooheon, and Jooheon felt his cheeks warm as he looked away.

“I guess you’re right,” Hoseok said before planting a smooch on Jooheon’s cheek. Jooheon laughed a little before he stuffed the empty wrapper of the bar into his pocket.

“Come on, let’s go find the right trail. There’s no way they’re awake yet,” he said.

“Hey, we’re not going to go back to normal after this, are we?” Hoseok asked.

Jooheon looked at him. “What do you mean?”

Hoseok tilted his head. “We kissed. We like each other.”

“Yes?”

“You won’t avoid me anymore? We’re not going to be all awkward around each other and act like this didn’t happen?”

Jooheon grabbed Hoseok’s face and pecked his lips. “We’re going to walk straight into the campsite holding hands.”

Hoseok’s nose scrunched as he smiled and laughed. He got up and pulled his bags onto his shoulders. Jooheon grabbed his own bags as he stood up. Hoseok held his hand out, and Jooheon took it, squeezing it tight, and they made their way back down the trail together, happy that they had gotten accidentally lost in the woods.  

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this lovely little mess! Leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed it!  
> Hit me up:  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/yikeslike)  
> [twt](https://twitter.com/yikeslike)


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